Stèphano Sabetti: The Freedom You Are
Could you give us some tips about how we can become more essential in our
The most important thing is to see the facts of life as they are. This means
to accept what you see and the way you see it. Become aware of what you do
to qualify those observations. For example, do you tend to dismiss painful
information or things you don’t like to see about yourself? Clear seeing
would mean to “cut through” the usual “fog” and look at these difficult
issues one at a time – without any judgment or resistance. This begins the
process of surrender. You might want to put these items on paper to ground
your research. It’s sometimes a little scary when you start to look at a
sheet of these issues.
Another useful process is to examine how you avoid being honest with
yourself. Do you stay busy or try to live through your thoughts instead of
experiencing life as a rhythm based in a body feeling? Do you “drive” life
instead of enjoying it as it comes? Have you left what is important for you
only to focus on inessential people and things?
Becoming essential means a return to basics. Who do you need, if anyone?
What kinds of pursuits lead to greater happiness? Are you doing what you
should be doing – not as a mental idea, but as a “gut” feeling? Trust these
feelings; they are the signals from your core. Don’t judge what you perceive,
but take these messages as the “inner known.”
During your daily activities, you might also practice using the question:
“Can what I’m doing be done more simply?” If yes, incorporate this change
into your life now! Don’t wait. Follow this movement immediately and watch
what happens. Suddenly you’ll have more time and free energy. Having more
time means having more space and vice versa. If you want to be more
essential, you need to say good-bye to many things you assume you need – but
don’t. It also means you’ll need to look at who you’ve become. As you let go
of the nonessential, you’re also dropping the irrelevant-you. Whatever
remains after this profound research is essence. Learn to enjoy it
completely and let it radiate to all parts of your life. Let everyone be
touched by it and observe how the waves of change and consciousness grow.
Consider that all truth is based in simplicity – only untruth is complicated.
Why make life more difficult than it is?
In many spiritual schools, love is one of the central feelings of freedom.
How do you see the connection to spirituality?
Unconditional love is, without question, one of the most important aspects
of a felt spirituality. In the traditional Hindu sense, love is described as
devotion and surrender (bhakti). It implies that liberation can be
experienced only when we give ourselves completely to an impersonal God. In
this sense, love is a total absorption in the Absolute. Christians, Jews and
Muslims, as descendants of Abrahamic belief, hold that love is a dualistic
process. We should love God but we can never be God, who remains always
different from ourselves. Liberation or salvation comes from his redemption
and not because of our actions alone. The Path of No Way suggests that it
isn’t love that makes us free but the expression of freedom that extends
itself in this love. However, if we love to become free, there is no
liberation. Love needs to be given without conditions or as a medium for
anything else – even freedom. In our sense, freedom, love, spirituality and
oneness are all synonyms for the same experience of ultimate Truth. Freedom
describes its state of being distached while love explains its expression
with others. Spirituality is the path of Truth with all its learnings and
aspects of surrender. Oneness is the feeling when there is no separation.
Truth cannot be divisive; otherwise it isn’t absolute.
True love or open love isn’t dependent on the person giving or receiving.
Only the separate mind sees these differences. This love doesn’t depend on
whether the “other” is a well-known friend, someone who has hurt us in the
past, or a complete stranger. Not only do we need to turn a cheek to an
offending person but to turn a whole personality at times. For the small I,
this seems almost impossible. Only from the generosity of the spiritual Self
is this transformation possible. Beware, however, of becoming the victim of
your feelings, a sentimental fool, as Buddha warned.
I feel so much love, softness, and sadness, but I keep it inside.
Who is holding the key to this closed door?
Who is this I you speak of?
The person who is afraid of hurting others when she comes out.
You hurt yourself everyday by not being honest. How can opening the door
I’m afraid it will be too much for them.
How do you know if you don’t give them a chance?
Who is afraid to find out today?
The one who holds on to the past and stays in the mud even if it isn’t
Who is afraid of the honesty and the freedom that comes with it?
The person not used to being free. I feel this love inside but I can’t seem
to stay in it. What am I doing wrong?
What happens if you go into this love?
I’m afraid it’ll be too much.
Go there now. (pause) What do you feel?
When I go to my heart, I feel only heat.
What could happen if you were to stay with this heat?
Something would melt.
This frozen ring around my heart.
And if it melted?
I’d have no protection.
Are you willing to research this?
This is why you leave your love.
(pause) That makes me sad.
Follow this melting into your heart and watch what happens.